Mick- Ok kids. Let’s hurry this up so I can get the bar. I am gonna teach all you’s about crime.
Junior- Ol Mick, are you ok?
Mick- Yesh? Why do ask that question you?
Junior- You just are wobbling around and you smell really bad.
(Mick falls asleep for 20 minutes while the kids stare at him wondering if he is dead. He awakes suddenly and starts speaking again.)
Mick- (Short Pause) Ok kids, I am now going to teach you about a great medicine called alcohol. Now what alcohol does is make ever boring part of life fun. Like me coming in here and teaching you kids. This is fun to me?
Gabe- My dad says alcohol turns decent guys into complete assholes.
Mick- Well your dads an asshole next question.
John- What is alcohol?
Mick- It is a magically fluid that tastes bad but when you get enough into your system you feel all loose like.
(The principal walks in and Mick does not see him)
Mick- It makes all the bad days into good days, it makes you forget your shitty life. It makes unattractive things look…
Principal- Ol Mick that is enough!
Mick- Welp Shit